Generate - Young Family Ministry: Week 5 - Friendship, Fun & Sexuality

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Week 5 - Friendship, Fun & Sexuality

This was our last session of the series and we covered the importance of friendship in marriage along with having fun and sex in the marriage.

3 basic reasons why friendship in marriage is important:

1. To Have a Life Partner

* Man was not created to live alone - Genesis 2:18
* It's important to like the one you married, since this is the person you plan to grow old
with and share who you really are; your dreams, joy & very soul.

2. To Walk in Spiritual Unity

*Matthew 18:19 say's, "Again I tell you if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask
for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven."
*Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 shows us 4 benefits of a friend: Productivity, Support, Warmth & Protection

NOTE: In order to get closer to your spouse you MUST first draw closer to God.

3. To Have Sexual Relationship

* To enjoy a quilt-free, disease-free, sin-free expression of love.
* Genesis 2:25 says, "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."

The Importance of Fun in your relationship

Too many couples do not keep fun alive in their marriages. Think back to when you were dating all the fun you used to have. What has happened is we have gotten too busy or we are too tired and all of our responsibilities have mounted up so we let all of these things ruin our fun times.

In order to keep the fun alive you will have to make time for it and when you do protect that time from any conflict. Once you have done these two things get up and go have fun with your spouse.

Find things that you will enjoy doing together.

Sexuality:

What is the intended use of Sex? Look at I Corinthians 7:1-5 (Message)
Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly - but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality - the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting - but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it.

We are there to please our spouse and our spouse to please us. If your not sure what pleases your spouse simply ask them.

An important thing to remember is INTAMACY is NOT sex. Intamacy is meeting an emotional need INTERCOURSE is the sexual act.

Remember sex is like a dance, you have to learn how to dance. Men have to learn how to lead and women have to learn how to let him lead.

The POWER of your sex life is determined by the PURITY of your sex life.

Your sex life is based upon how well you want to GRATIFY/SATISFY your spouse.

Romance is the adult version of a play ground, and sex was for pleasure long before it was for having kids.

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“Road Trip” to Muskogee Water Park

There’s no question… its HOT!

Summertime can be a fun time for the family, as long as there are basic necessities, like air conditioning. Although we do spend a lot of time “in doors” this time of year, outdoor events can be fun too as long as there is plenty of shade and lots of water. I think it’s time to schedule a trip. We really love the water park in Muskogee and we think it would be great to spend a day there with our Grace Church family.

For those of you who have never been, here is a link to their website.

http://www.cityofmuskogee.com/shell.asp?pg=92

One thing is for sure, it’s very inexpensive in comparison to the water park here in Tulsa which makes the 40 minute drive a piece of cake. There is plenty to do for you and your children no matter what their age. So, here are all the details…

Generate Young Family Ministry “Road Trip” to Muskogee:
Where: River Country Water park in Muskogee
When: Saturday, July 19th, 2008 (Park is open from 11:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.)
What to Bring: Swimming attire, sun block, towels, water, snacks etc. Technically, there are no coolers allowed in the park, however, they do have Concessions available for cash only purchases.

So, pack up the kids, gas up the car and meet us in Muskogee. We’ll probably arrange to go pretty early so we can stake out a big enough area for our group. If anyone would like to caravan we would be happy to do so. Please reply to this email with a yea or nay or stop Teya or me in church to let us know that we will be seeing you there.

Up Coming Family Events

The Freedom Festival is Sunday, June 29th. Come and celebrate our country with your Church family and friends. We will be sitting on the lawn just east of the Children’s Building and we would love to have any or all of you join us. This will be the perfect location—right by the games, AND right by the food… not to mention it will be a wonderful spot for the Firework show. The Car show starts at 5:30pm and the rest of the fun events start at 6:00pm.

Questions? Email us at-
rselleck@gracetulsa.com
tselleck@gracetulsa.com

See you there.

Communication Pop Quiz

Please answer each of the following questions in terms of your relationship with your "spouse" if married, or your "partner" if dating or engaged. It is recommended that you answer these questions by yourself and not with your spouse or partner.

Use the following 3 point scale to rate how often you and your spouse/partner experience the following:

1=Almost never or never
2=Once in a while
3=Frequently

Note: It is recommended that you do not share the answers to the questions just the total score.

1 2 3
Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name calling, or bringing up past hurts.

1 2 3
My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires.

1 2 3
My partner seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be.

1 2 3
When we have a problem to solve, it is like we are on opposite teams.

1 2 3
I hold back from telling my partner what I really think and feel.

1 2 3
I think seriously about what it would be like to date or marry someone else.

1 2 3
I feel lonely in this relationship.

1 2 3
When we argue, one of us withdraws…that is, doesn’t want to talk about it anymore; or leaves the scene.

What Does My Score Mean?

8 to 12 “Green Light”

If you scored in the 8-12 range, your relationship is probably in good or even great shape at THIS TIME, but we emphasize at “THIS TIME” because relationships don’t stand still. There is no need to stop, but it is probably a great time to work on making your relationship all it can be and to prevent problems in the future.

13 to 17 “Yellow Light”

If you scored in the 13 – 17 range, it’s like you are coming to a “yellow light.” You need to be cautious. While you may be happy now in your relationship, your score reveals warning signs of patterns you don’t want to let get worse. You’ll want to be taking action to protect and improve what you have.

18 to 24 “Red Light”

Finally, if you scored in the 18 –14 range, it’s like approaching a red light. Stop, and think about where the two of you are headed. Your score indicates the presence of patterns that could put your relationship at significant risk. It is important to stop and learn ways to improve your relationship now!