Generate - Young Family Ministry: Week 3

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Week 3 - Communication

If you missed last night we talked about how important it is that there is open communication within your marriage/relationship. Communication is the doorway to intamacy. We talked about how to handle conflit while preserving oneness as well as how to express critisim constructivley. Then we had a time for talking one on one with your spouse using the Speaker/Listener Technigue. This is an artifical way of spealing which creates a sturctured and safe environment when tough issues arise and things need to be talked out. It will also help you stay away from teh four danger signs of communicating.

1. Escalation
–Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2. Invalidation
3. Negative Interpretations
4. Avoidance and Withdrawal

The most important scripture to remmeber when it comes to communicating is James 1:19-20 which says: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for your anger does not produce God's righteousness. (NIV)

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“Road Trip” to Muskogee Water Park

There’s no question… its HOT!

Summertime can be a fun time for the family, as long as there are basic necessities, like air conditioning. Although we do spend a lot of time “in doors” this time of year, outdoor events can be fun too as long as there is plenty of shade and lots of water. I think it’s time to schedule a trip. We really love the water park in Muskogee and we think it would be great to spend a day there with our Grace Church family.

For those of you who have never been, here is a link to their website.

http://www.cityofmuskogee.com/shell.asp?pg=92

One thing is for sure, it’s very inexpensive in comparison to the water park here in Tulsa which makes the 40 minute drive a piece of cake. There is plenty to do for you and your children no matter what their age. So, here are all the details…

Generate Young Family Ministry “Road Trip” to Muskogee:
Where: River Country Water park in Muskogee
When: Saturday, July 19th, 2008 (Park is open from 11:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.)
What to Bring: Swimming attire, sun block, towels, water, snacks etc. Technically, there are no coolers allowed in the park, however, they do have Concessions available for cash only purchases.

So, pack up the kids, gas up the car and meet us in Muskogee. We’ll probably arrange to go pretty early so we can stake out a big enough area for our group. If anyone would like to caravan we would be happy to do so. Please reply to this email with a yea or nay or stop Teya or me in church to let us know that we will be seeing you there.

Up Coming Family Events

The Freedom Festival is Sunday, June 29th. Come and celebrate our country with your Church family and friends. We will be sitting on the lawn just east of the Children’s Building and we would love to have any or all of you join us. This will be the perfect location—right by the games, AND right by the food… not to mention it will be a wonderful spot for the Firework show. The Car show starts at 5:30pm and the rest of the fun events start at 6:00pm.

Questions? Email us at-
rselleck@gracetulsa.com
tselleck@gracetulsa.com

See you there.

Communication Pop Quiz

Please answer each of the following questions in terms of your relationship with your "spouse" if married, or your "partner" if dating or engaged. It is recommended that you answer these questions by yourself and not with your spouse or partner.

Use the following 3 point scale to rate how often you and your spouse/partner experience the following:

1=Almost never or never
2=Once in a while
3=Frequently

Note: It is recommended that you do not share the answers to the questions just the total score.

1 2 3
Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name calling, or bringing up past hurts.

1 2 3
My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires.

1 2 3
My partner seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be.

1 2 3
When we have a problem to solve, it is like we are on opposite teams.

1 2 3
I hold back from telling my partner what I really think and feel.

1 2 3
I think seriously about what it would be like to date or marry someone else.

1 2 3
I feel lonely in this relationship.

1 2 3
When we argue, one of us withdraws…that is, doesn’t want to talk about it anymore; or leaves the scene.

What Does My Score Mean?

8 to 12 “Green Light”

If you scored in the 8-12 range, your relationship is probably in good or even great shape at THIS TIME, but we emphasize at “THIS TIME” because relationships don’t stand still. There is no need to stop, but it is probably a great time to work on making your relationship all it can be and to prevent problems in the future.

13 to 17 “Yellow Light”

If you scored in the 13 – 17 range, it’s like you are coming to a “yellow light.” You need to be cautious. While you may be happy now in your relationship, your score reveals warning signs of patterns you don’t want to let get worse. You’ll want to be taking action to protect and improve what you have.

18 to 24 “Red Light”

Finally, if you scored in the 18 –14 range, it’s like approaching a red light. Stop, and think about where the two of you are headed. Your score indicates the presence of patterns that could put your relationship at significant risk. It is important to stop and learn ways to improve your relationship now!